What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? 
A baby with a punctured lung.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? 
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What's brown and gurgles? 
A baby in a casserole.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? 
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

What's present do you get for a dead baby? 
A dead puppy.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? 
It was chained to a bumper

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave? 
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.