What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? 
A baby with a punctured lung.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? 
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What's brown and gurgles? 
A baby in a casserole.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? 
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

What's present do you get for a dead baby? 
A dead puppy.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? 
It was chained to a bumper

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave? 
Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? 
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.

How do you get a baby to run faster? 
Chase it with the lawn mower.

What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool? 
A baby with burst armbands.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion. 
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? 
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? 
The dog plays with it more.

What's funnier than a dead baby? 
A dead baby in a clown costume!

Which one is worse? 
A trash can filled with 10 babies, or 10 trash cans filled with one baby?